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Monday, 27 February 2012

The day you wished the world would swallow you up...

Everyone has had them, although I am sure some dare to admit it...  The days where your children are set from the moment they wake, until the time they go to sleep,to make your day as difficult as possible! Not always difficult in the naughty sense. Some days can be difficult because they are like sponges,exploring their new world and sucking it all in!

I admit I am vocal,and it seems that this trait has somewhat rubbed off on my children. On one hand the endless questions are great. How can you learn if you do not ask?
On the other hand it can land you into tricky water, where treading for hours seems the only option.

On one such day I was taking my eldest shopping, he was about 3.5yrs old at the time and just toilet training. I make sure I ask the children before going out if they need the toilet. Lets face it it saves trying to do the public toilet dance when out.
We had travelled  almost the entire supermarket with out a care. I start a trend early on, dont ask for anything and you might receive. The majority of the time we have left the shop before they remember they didn't ask ;)

I had just started going through the checkout,and mind you it was one of those shops where the trolley was pretty full, so it wasnt going to be a 5 min scan pack pay and go go go scenario.
Suddenly a loud voice jolts me back from reality. MUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM I NEED TO DO A POOH!!!!!

I'm thinking oh dear hurry up chicky,lets get a move on, my kid is going to burst! Its a little bit embarrassing hearing them scream, but even more so when they yell again, MUUUUUUUUUUMMMMM ITS COMING OUT!
No amount of coaxing my child into waiting was going to work, I stammered a quick so sorry we will be back and ran, with child to the nearest toilet.
Needless to say the results were not pretty and I was determined to NOT take those jocks home with me, so they were wrapped and popped in the bin, much to the horror of my child........

At the time I could have been swallowed up with after number three,and training again, I couldnt care less what they yelled. I do know though I would be beating down doors to make sure they sat their tiny bottom square on a toilet though!


  1. Hahahaha that's gold.

    Well my son is only 6 months old, so i've been saved so far from any verbal embarrassment lol.

    But I certainly haven't been spared of any poo-plosions that's for sure!

    The most recent and most embarrassing episode happened when we went to get him weighed at our local Child Health Centre.

    While I was undressing my baby so that he could be weighed and measured, he started making his famous 'poo sounds'. You know the ones - the moaning and groaning.

    My husband asked me if he was trying to do a poo, I said he couldn't be as he had just done one a few hours ago (he is bottlefed).

    The nurse laid him down on his back, with his business end facing towards her, and started to check his weight.

    Next thing we knew he was groaning and turning red and in a split second the poor lady was covered in a lovely dark green poonami.

    She looked absolutely horrified, my husband was laughing, and as I tried to hold back my laughter all I could manage to do was repeatedly apologise and attempt to clean up some of the epic mess.

    I'm sure there are PLENTY more embarrassing moments just like this (and worse) to come!


  2. Thank you Lauren!! I remember the explosions well :) great story to tell him in the future :)

  3. Hmm the day we wished the world would swallow us up is a day we'd much rather forget!

    It was when my younger brother was only about 4 or 5, and we were heading to the airport to see my auntie off to Sydney. This was only a couple of years after 9/11 so of course airport security was very high. The exact words that were said have escaped me but my brother decided to say something very loudly about Daddy having a bomb. Well didn't that cause a fuss! Dad was promptly whisked away, swabbed, searched, questioned, the whole 9 yards! Of course, Dad didn't have a bomb or anything explosive and so was released although not too happy about the whole situation.

    And of course to top it all off, little brother sat there happily with no idea what he had said or what had happened. Ahhh to be a child again!

  4. Oh Dear, don't you just love those "slow" checkout chicks?

    My would have to be only a few weeks after I had given birth to #3 son. We were shopping and while standing at the Deli counter master then 3 started playing with me belly, after several attemps to push him away (his giggles were starting to get some on lookers) I bend down and asked him to stop. He just looked up with a checky grin and said "but Mum it's fun, your belly is wobbly like jelly" The boys (all 3) now love to call me jelly belly!
    I could have slid right under that deli counter right then!

  5. Sarah, oh no! Children for the most part are so innocent,and alot of the time dont see the ramifications of their outbursts!! Glad it was a happy ending though :)

  6. Tracy, My sister when little walked up to a large bellied man,poked him in the tummy and yelled "you have a fat tummy!" My Mum said she would have liked to have been swallowed up then!

    Just yesterday my nephew noticed a lady limping, and he said to my sister "that lady walks funny" i told him it wasnt funny,just different to the way he walked :) They see what they see,and express their thoughts literally!

    1. I think doing that to a stranger would be worse! Your poor Mum.


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