There is so much pressure on children to succeed. I'm not
going to say it's not a dream of mine to make sure mine do. But do we put
unnecessary pressure on our kids from a young age?
I've tried never to be a helicopter parent. I'd liken
myself to more of a glider, coasting above but just far enough away to let them
realise their own mistakes and learn from them. Guidance is the key. Let's face
it, we can't always fix their wrongs. At some point they need to start thinking
independently and learning to make the right choices. At some point they will
completely balls it up.
And.that.is.ok
So I glide.
Sometimes I hit turbulence and feel like the choices are swirling around
making the journey a bumpy one. Turbulence though rarely lasts long.
We all want happiness for our children. I don't want it
at a cost though. I don't want the pressure of failure to make up their very
being. The early years go so quickly. I want their childhood to be relatively
harm free. I'm not talking in the physical sense, I have three boys, accidents
happen. More their mental state. I want them to look back on their childhood
and think what a ride! Good times happened.
My youngest said to me the other day, "You are the
most important person to me" he is 6. Even though I'm gliding, he was for
a moment able to look up, catch a glimpse and glide with me.
I took those words as a reminder that he is growing up
but still needs the safety net of a safe ride. It doesn't matter what age you
are, when the ride gets bumpy we all grasp for something secure to hold on
to.
My middle child- for want of better words, at 7 is vastly
Independant and articulate. He exudes confidence daily. Which sometimes makes
me forget his soft sensitive side. Until a boom of rational awakening happens
and I'm brought back to reality with a thud when a seemingly simple episode
will evoke so much emotion that he struggles to compute it.He is an old soul.
The glider never far above.
On the other end of the spectrum is my 18 year old,
graduated with one final exam looming. He too knows how to express himself. And
I am very fortunate that he is willing to open up and let me know how he is
traveling. I thought there would be less need for me. I was wrong. Our chats
have proven that although he has now entered adult hood relatively unscathed,
his independence is still reliant on me smoothing the path through the bumpy
bits.
And so ultimately my aim- to make sure that their biggest
achievement in life is happiness. It sounds so cliche. We need to forget about
the fast paced world we live in. It can spiral in an instant. So my goal is to
keep it simple. Complications are readily found as it is.
So my
advice, always turn the page, look for the next chapter.
