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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Mothers groups


Life’s little mysteries……….
Mothers group, hands up who attended one?  I didn’t. I had the offer when I went to my child assessment at 6 weeks. Actually come to think of I never went back there again either. Why do the government insist we see a complete stranger with our babies? The appointment was made when I was in hospital, I don’t recall agreeing to it, but received a reminder in the mail asking for our attendance… It seems that when you open more than just your life after having a baby everyone needs to know what you’re up to! I remember to Child nurse being around 105…..well that might be an exaggeration, but I do remember thinking whoa, ever thought about retirement sister?
She was nice enough, and my son did the mandatory wee on her when the nappy came off, but a repeat visit was never going to happen.  I didn’t feel like she had any modern approaches to offer me, so I fobbed off phone calls and letters for what seemed like an eternity… Looking back in my baby book I was a bad mother…I had the all the immunisations done by my faithful GP,but it looks like my baby was weighed once….by the 105 year old busting for retirement!  Fortunately for me, out growing clothes was a very clear sign my baby was thriving! Phew common sense was alive and well.

I was even less convinced of this intervention after baby number 2. Ten years on things had progressed somewhat, they now offered a home based visit! I said to my husband why not, its like we have to drag the baby out for an appointment, and when you have a summer baby, thats a good thing right? So the nurse turned up...we sit, go through some paperwork and some more paperwork. I felt like it was the inquisition! What was the purpose of her visit again? After all the dotting of i's and crossing of t's and sign here etc, i think I might have just signed my baby up for government scheme that we don't yet know about. She was a nervous nurse and I got the strange impression not all households she entered were, lets say, conventional. That became more apparent when she apologised before asking us if we smoked marijuana on a reg basis. Actually she said dope, so I dare say some households she went into were pretty laid back !! we sighed with relief when she admitted she couldnt smell dope in the house, so we were declared sensible parents and she took leave..... My husband and I just laughed....what the? That was post baby care? whoa..... it almost called for celebration and a dutchy in the kitchen! if only we didnt have a new baby house in the house suffocating our partying on!

I also discovered after baby 2, I wasnt eligible to join a mothers group...No way, you had your chance,dont get greedy on us!
Good thing I guess..I just wasn’t into the’ sharing every detail of my life because I now had a baby syndrome’ Don’t get me wrong, some loved mothers groups and have forged true friendships out the encounters. I just wasn’t in a place where by I wanted new friends. I did end up doing play group, and that was enough!  There is a phenomenon after having a baby that some women seem to catch…. If you have ever been in a room with at least 5 women and their children you’ll understand. It’s the “ my baby can do that and more phase”  for eg…. During normal conversation of routines and how many bottles they can fit in on top of the solids they started WAY before recommended age because they were STARVING, starts the  getting one up on milestone talk. 
So I casually mention it is great when they start crawling isn’t it….Oh yes they all agree…. So what age were they? Oh around 6 months I guess….what, that late? cries one? Mine was practically crawling as soon as the umbilical cord was cut!! Drone…..now I tune out…no point in talking anything milestone with this one…her child will be a prodigy, I take note of the name and wait for the newspaper article announcing it. Seriously some women are our own worst enemies. It’s a baby, not a competition! And anyone with more than one, knows every child is different in every way J

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